Reflections on Motherhood

I have never understood fully what my mom sacrificed to bring me out into the world until I became pregnant. She had a difficult pregnancy. For the first trimester, she threw out everything she ate, but she kept eating because it was the only way I'd survive. She took care of herself because she wanted me to be healthy. She did everything she was supposed to do, even gave up a thriving career when I was born just so she can take care of me personally. You never really know until you experience all these yourself.

Having a baby is a total lifestyle change. My body has been changing with it too. My heaviest was at 100lbs, and I have had a hard time even attaining that weight. Now I'm up to 103 lbs. My waistline was 26 pre-pregnancy, while it's 32 now - 2 more inches and I'll have the same waistline as hubz.

In Manila, I noticed that I was having a hard time fitting into my pants. I even bought a couple of jeans at size 28. I blamed eating too much as the source of my growing tummy. It was only when I came back that I realized I had a baby growing inside of me. No wonder I'm always hungry, and I eat as if it was my last meal! Hubz would tease me that I have a big tummy - now he takes pride seeing it grow!

I had my very first ultrasound last Friday and it was an amazing experience. I saw our baby's heartbeat. It was like a butterfly fluffing its wings. I also saw the baby move for the first time, as if saying "hey mommy, look what I can do". I couldn't help but cry. The feeling was so overwhelming. I am truly in awe of God's goodness. How can one egg and a sperm create a life? Only through God's infinite power.... Too bad hubz isn't here to share this experience with me.

Sure I feel queasy, but I feel fortunate that I haven't really thrown what I eat out of my system. I used to hate milk because it upsets my stomach but I now drink a couple of glasses a day, plus orange juice with calcium, to make sure I have enough vitamins for our baby's development. I get frequent migraines now but that doesn't bother me. I love being pregnant. Here's this little creature whose very existence depended on me. He trusts me completely - without question.

Now I know that when you're a mom, you'd do anything and everything for your child. In as much as my mom has taken good care of me while I was growing up, I hope to do the same, if not better, for my own child.

Reminiscing the trip home...

Well, I'm definitely back, with a bulging tummy at that! Everything I'm feeling is foreign to me, but I do welcome them if it meant our baby is growing inside of me. Sure, I still miss my husband terribly, though at least I have someone to keep me company.... :)

Before my first appointment with my gynecologist, I checked my charts (I was required to keep track of my basal temperature the moment I wake up in the morning). I just realized that my temperate shot up as high as 100.4 degrees (Fahrenheit) on April 20th. My usual basal temps were only on the 97s. What does this mean? It means that I ovulated the day before or on the 20th itself - while we were in Cebu!

Ok, our trip to Cebu wasn't all that. In fact, among all our other trips, that was our least favorite due to very bad customer service at Shang Mactan. Long story... So, you can just imagine that a trip we'd rather forget brought us the baby we've long hoped for. In short, at least something good came out of it.

Our next stop was Panglao in Bohol. This was one trip we truly enjoyed. We stayed at Panglao Island Nature Resort. There wasn't much water activity to do (truly a honeymooner's paradise), but the resort is just oh-so-romantic. To top it off, Bohol is beautiful. The Boholanons were able to maintain their lush greens and the wonder of the famous Chocolate Hills. We were also treated to a special lunch cruising the Loboc River (we were told this was where the movie "Panaghoy sa Suba" was shot). And those tersiers were just endearing. They're not frightening at all!

Between Cebu and Bohol, we also got to see Avilon Zoo. I must say, I was impressed at how they were able to maintain the place and the animals looked well-fed.

Then there were our constant trips to my grandmother's hometown, Pagsanjan. This was also where my aunt celebrated her birthday. Grandma must've invited the whole town!!!! Funny because they seem to know me all, but I don't remember meeting them - ever!

Our last stop was Tagaytay - where we reminisced when we first became a couple. Yep, it was at Picnic Grove in Tagaytay on Nov. 12, 1994 that I first said "I love you" to my now-husband. We also stopped at a chapel called "W.I.S.H". The inscription said that if you hold Our Lady of Manaoag's hands and make a wish, it will be granted. We did just that - and fervently wished for a baby. Our miracle was granted and we will forever be grateful.

To give you a visual of where we've been, and maybe give you an idea where to go, here are some photos we hope you'd enjoy.

'Til my next trip home (whenever that'll be)....