The Pains of a Long Distance Marriage

Hubz applied for a tourist visa yesterday, hoping he'd be able to come to the US before I give birth. His petition is underway and we have been receiving a lot of correspondences from NVC (National Visa Center). We thought that that is proof enough that he will definitely come back to wait for the final leg. Wrong! The consul told him that their policy is to deny tourist visa applications when there is a pending petition. They don't even care what the purpose of his visit was. It's a red flag among them to deny applications when immigrant petitions are pending. Hubz told me that a lot of tourist visas were granted yesterday. Unfortunately, he wasn't one of those lucky ones. The consul even checked the status of his petition and advised him to just wait. He wasn't even asked for any other proof that he'd definitely come back.

My heart just went out to him because I know he feels bad about it. Imagine not being there when your child is born! I tried to put a brave face amidst it all because I didn't want him to worry about me and the baby. After we talked, I just cried. I even fell asleep crying!

How can they be so heartless? It doesn't matter to them that I don't have a family nearby to help me out when I give birth. True, I could always come home but hubz and I decided it wouldn't be a good idea. The main reason why we're struggling amidst the pains of temporary separation is so we can give our children a good future. Argh, all the things you sacrifice for your child!

I was out to dinner with my roommate and another friend (celebrating her birthday) when I received the news. My friends noticed the change in my expression. Immediately this other friend offered to be there when I give birth. She asked my roommate to call her as soon as my contractions start and she'll assist me (with my roommate) at the hospital. I also have a few more friends who expressed their intentions to help - whether it be at the hospital or my first few weeks at home. I consider myself blessed to have friends like them.

These past few weeks, I have also been busy attending childbirth classes. I feel bad because I seem to be one of those without their husbands in attendance. In a way, I resented our being apart, especially at this time. But, when I got the news regarding his tourist visa application being denied, I knew I don't have the right to feel bad. At least I'll be with our baby while he can't even hug or kiss him for a while. What could be more painful than that, right? I have a baby to hold while he'd only have pictures to keep him company. He's even worried that when they finally meet, our baby won't even recognize him.

Still, even through all these, I know we still have a lot more to be thankful for. I just pray that this LD business will soon come to an end because it's taxing enough for me and my husband - and our baby will soon be added to that equation!

What I'm Thankful For...

Thanksgiving is upon us again. This gives me the opportunity to reflect on the things and events in my life I'm really grateful for. This year is especially meaningful because God gave us the gift of life. Amidst our infertility issues, the challenges of having a long-distance marriage, and the once-a-year rendezvous, we were given this rare opportunity to journey through parenthood. At Thanksgiving, our precious angel is 33 weeks old. A few more weeks and we'd get a glimpse of the li'l creature I've been nurturing in my womb.

There is a saying that we should always count our blessings. Let me take this chance to list down all the wonderful things and events that happened this year. All those that we're truly grateful for...

• After a couple of years of trying, and after rounds of medications, God finally heard our prayers and gave us our little angel - Caerwyn Mikhail.
• A relatively easy and uncomplicated pregnancy
• A loving and supporting husband. Though he isn't physically present throughout the pregnancy, I can feel his concern and deep love for me and our baby.
• An over-eager and supportive family who longs for this baby as much as we have.
• An understanding boss who gave me lighter loads and allowed me to take off from time to time due to doctor's appointments, childbirth classes, and the like.
• Good health for the whole family. Earlier this year, I wrote about my dad having been diagnosed with Colon Cancer. With the help of early diagnosis, prevention and prayers, he was able to bounce back.
• A roof above our heads, and food for our stomachs.
• Great friends
• Wonderful teammates
• My roommate, best friend, and investment partner
• A truly productive year in terms of projects and career advancement
• Growing investments
• Answered prayers
• The opportunity to be with my husband this year
• The month-long chance to be with my family and my aunt whom I haven't seen for years
• An uneventful October business release
• Two great performance reviews
• Tenants that have been with us for a year now (hopefully renewing again)
• All 32 years of my life on earth
• Safety for me and my family
  

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!