The Waiting Game

I had my weekly doctor's appointment yesterday and I was told that I am already 3cm dilated and 70% effaced. My cervix is favorable enough but I haven't gone into labor just yet. If only I was past 38 weeks, I would've been induced as I have a big baby and my doctor doesn't want to prolong my delivery. Though 37 weeks is considered full term, some babies act as if they're preemies so to make sure, she wanted to wait a week more. If I don't go into labor by Tuesday (my next appointment), I will be induced.

When I got home yesterday, I emailed my boss that this week will be my last working week until I go back from my maternity leave in April. I have also turned over the remaining work I have. I filed my maternity leave via our leave coordinator. I started working on my will. I have finalized my hospital pre-registration (I am changing insurance companies come January 1). I have also mailed the cord blood documents, which I have faxed to Viacord a couple of weeks back.

Last night, I was in my baby's room trying to arrange stuff. I think my nesting instinct is kicking in. It won't be long now...

Please pray for a smooth and safe delivery for me, and a healthy baby for us.

The Reason for the Season

A friend forwarded this email that I thought was worth posting. Amidst the hustle and bustle of the holidays, may we never forget that Jesus is still the reason for the season.

Merry Christmas everyone!

*****************

Dear loved ones,

As you well know, we are getting closer to my birthday. Every year there is a celebration in my honor and I think that this year the celebration will be repeated. During this time there are many people shopping for gifts, there are many radio announcements, TV commercials, and in every part of the world everyone is talking that my birthday is getting closer and closer.

It is really very nice to know, that at least once a year, some people think of me. As you know, the celebration of my birthday began many years ago. At first people seemed to understand and be thankful of all that I did for them, but in these times, no one seems to know the reason for the celebration. Family and friends get together and have a lot of fun, but they don't know the meaning of the celebration.

I remember that last year there was a great feast in my honor. The dinner table was full of delicious foods, pastries, fruits, assorted nuts and chocolates. The decorations were exquisite and there were many,many beautifully wrapped gifts. But, do you want to know something? I wasn't invited. I was the guest of honor and they didn't remember to send me an invitation. The party was for me, but when that great day came, I was left outside, they closed the door in my face .... and I wanted to be with them and share their table.

In truth, that didn't surprise me because in the last few years all close their doors to me. Since I wasn't invited, I decided to enter the party without making any noise. I went in and stood in a corner. They were all drinking; there were some who were drunk and telling jokes and laughing at everything. They were having a grand time. To top it all, this big fat man all dressed in red wearing a long white beard entered the room yelling Ho-Ho-Ho! He seemed drunk. He sat on the sofa and all the children ran to him, saying: "Santa Claus, Santa Claus" .. as if the party were in his honor!

At 12 midnight all the people began to hug each other; I extended my arms waiting for someone to hug me and ... do you know ... no one hugged me. Suddenly they all began to share gifts. They opened them one by one with great expectation. When all had been opened, I looked to see if, maybe, there was one for me.

What would you feel if on your birthday everybody shared gifts and you did not get one? I then understood that I was unwanted at that party and quietly left.

Every year it gets worse. People only remember to eat and drink, the gifts, the parties and nobody remembers me. I would like this Christmas that you allow me to enter into your life. I would like that you recognize the fact that almost two thousand years ago I came to this world to give my life for you, on the cross, to save you.
Today, I only want that you believe this with all your heart.

I want to share something with you. As many didn't invite me to their party, I will have my own celebration, a grandiose party that no one has ever imagined, a spectacular party. I'm still making the final arrangements.
Today I am sending out many invitations and there is an invitation for you. I want to know if you wish to attend and I will make a reservation for you and write your name with golden letters in my great guest book. Only those on the guest list will be invited to the party. Those who don't answer the invite, will be left outside.

Be prepared because when all is ready you will be part of my great party.

See you soon.
I Love you!
Jesus

To Bank or Not To Bank

Hubz and I have made an important decision to bank our baby's cord blood through Viacord right after he's born. I have done some research on this topic and though stem cell technology is yet at its infancy, the advent of medical research may speed up its growth in the future. Our main concern at first was the cost, especially for the first year. But we figured this will serve as an insurance (which we hope we'll never use).

Why did we finally decide to bank his cord blood? There have been quite a few transplants using a baby's cord blood at present. Though the diseases being treated are those that are few and far between, who knows what the future might bring. Both our families have histories of cancer. Hubz' dad died of liver cancer, and my grandpa succumbed to prostate cancer. My dad has recently been diagnosed with colon cancer (but thank God it was detected early on). Stroke and heart diseases, not to mention diabetes is also rampant in our families, so does high cholasterol. True, we can avoid these diseases by a lifestyle change. However, some diseases are just genetic by nature. Take me, for instance. Who would've thought I used to have high cholasterol when I was even considered underweight pre-pregnancy?! Blame it on bad genes! My dad has uncontrollable cholasterol level even when he barely eats at all!

I asked my roommate when I was weighing this option and she gave a valid point. Our lives are not within our hands - it is with God's. Miracles do happen everyday (and our baby is a testimony to that). But maybe God is also giving us an option when he opened the doors for stem cell research.

Basically, the decision lies in every family. But as a parent, what wouldn't you give for your child, right?

Baby Shower Part II, False Labor, atbp

My friends from work gave me a "surprise" baby shower on Saturday but the alarm company spoiled it. My roommate gave them the key to the house but they triggered the alarm upon entering. Who did the alarm company call of all people? Well, me... then I told my roommate the alarm went off. She talked to the operator and told her it's ok and she knows about it. That gave it away! So, by the time we came home and my friends had the chance to shout "surprise", I was already laughing.

Thanks L for organizing it though, and to my friends who came and/or gave gifts - thanks a bunch!

Today, I had menstrual-like pain which prompted me to call the hospital. I was told to take it easy, eat something, drink plenty of fluids, take a shower, and call back in an hour if it doesn't go away. After 3 hours, I called back and was asked to come in. I was strapped on the bed and the contractions were monitored. I was surprised to find out I had 6 in an hour. And there I thought I was just feeling the baby move! I was injected with medications to stop the contractions because it's too early for me to deliver (35 weeks). The timing's erratic anyway. That stopped the contractions but not the menstrual-like pain. I was then told to take it easy and to lessen physical activities. Oh, and I'm 1cm dilated by the way!

What's funny is that they also asked me to stop having S_X, which isn't too hard to do since hubz isn't here anyway!

For a couple of days now, I have been waking up very early in the morning just to appease my hungry tummy. Frequent trips to the bathroom isn't helping me sleep either. I have been going every hour now. I guess the baby's truly preparing me for sleepless nights to come.

Baby Shower

Some of my very close friends gave me a baby shower on Saturday, Dec. 3. I have been through so many baby showers in the past where I always give gifts so it was unusual for me to accept them for a change.



To my dear friends, thank you for everything - from the fun, the games, the gifts. I truly had a wonderful time.

The Pains of a Long Distance Marriage

Hubz applied for a tourist visa yesterday, hoping he'd be able to come to the US before I give birth. His petition is underway and we have been receiving a lot of correspondences from NVC (National Visa Center). We thought that that is proof enough that he will definitely come back to wait for the final leg. Wrong! The consul told him that their policy is to deny tourist visa applications when there is a pending petition. They don't even care what the purpose of his visit was. It's a red flag among them to deny applications when immigrant petitions are pending. Hubz told me that a lot of tourist visas were granted yesterday. Unfortunately, he wasn't one of those lucky ones. The consul even checked the status of his petition and advised him to just wait. He wasn't even asked for any other proof that he'd definitely come back.

My heart just went out to him because I know he feels bad about it. Imagine not being there when your child is born! I tried to put a brave face amidst it all because I didn't want him to worry about me and the baby. After we talked, I just cried. I even fell asleep crying!

How can they be so heartless? It doesn't matter to them that I don't have a family nearby to help me out when I give birth. True, I could always come home but hubz and I decided it wouldn't be a good idea. The main reason why we're struggling amidst the pains of temporary separation is so we can give our children a good future. Argh, all the things you sacrifice for your child!

I was out to dinner with my roommate and another friend (celebrating her birthday) when I received the news. My friends noticed the change in my expression. Immediately this other friend offered to be there when I give birth. She asked my roommate to call her as soon as my contractions start and she'll assist me (with my roommate) at the hospital. I also have a few more friends who expressed their intentions to help - whether it be at the hospital or my first few weeks at home. I consider myself blessed to have friends like them.

These past few weeks, I have also been busy attending childbirth classes. I feel bad because I seem to be one of those without their husbands in attendance. In a way, I resented our being apart, especially at this time. But, when I got the news regarding his tourist visa application being denied, I knew I don't have the right to feel bad. At least I'll be with our baby while he can't even hug or kiss him for a while. What could be more painful than that, right? I have a baby to hold while he'd only have pictures to keep him company. He's even worried that when they finally meet, our baby won't even recognize him.

Still, even through all these, I know we still have a lot more to be thankful for. I just pray that this LD business will soon come to an end because it's taxing enough for me and my husband - and our baby will soon be added to that equation!

What I'm Thankful For...

Thanksgiving is upon us again. This gives me the opportunity to reflect on the things and events in my life I'm really grateful for. This year is especially meaningful because God gave us the gift of life. Amidst our infertility issues, the challenges of having a long-distance marriage, and the once-a-year rendezvous, we were given this rare opportunity to journey through parenthood. At Thanksgiving, our precious angel is 33 weeks old. A few more weeks and we'd get a glimpse of the li'l creature I've been nurturing in my womb.

There is a saying that we should always count our blessings. Let me take this chance to list down all the wonderful things and events that happened this year. All those that we're truly grateful for...

• After a couple of years of trying, and after rounds of medications, God finally heard our prayers and gave us our little angel - Caerwyn Mikhail.
• A relatively easy and uncomplicated pregnancy
• A loving and supporting husband. Though he isn't physically present throughout the pregnancy, I can feel his concern and deep love for me and our baby.
• An over-eager and supportive family who longs for this baby as much as we have.
• An understanding boss who gave me lighter loads and allowed me to take off from time to time due to doctor's appointments, childbirth classes, and the like.
• Good health for the whole family. Earlier this year, I wrote about my dad having been diagnosed with Colon Cancer. With the help of early diagnosis, prevention and prayers, he was able to bounce back.
• A roof above our heads, and food for our stomachs.
• Great friends
• Wonderful teammates
• My roommate, best friend, and investment partner
• A truly productive year in terms of projects and career advancement
• Growing investments
• Answered prayers
• The opportunity to be with my husband this year
• The month-long chance to be with my family and my aunt whom I haven't seen for years
• An uneventful October business release
• Two great performance reviews
• Tenants that have been with us for a year now (hopefully renewing again)
• All 32 years of my life on earth
• Safety for me and my family
  

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

The Name Game

Picking a name isn't a simple feat. Hubz and I have been through a number of baby names, debated over them, researched their meanings, searched for possible nicknames to go with it. It took us months before we finally came up with something we think would be perfect for our little angel - CAERWYN MIKHAIL (pronounced as Care-win Mi-kale). We'd call him Kail (pronounced as Kale) for short.

Like any other dads, hubz wanted our baby to carry his first name. I had to say no because his name is so well known to kids as a Big Red Dog. I didn't want our little boy to be teased (worse, bullied) in school because of that name. So we searched for a meaningful name that will carry both our initials. Caerwyn is gaelic which meant "blessed fort". Mikhail is the russian counterpart of Michael which meant "who is like God".

If we could only get our families to pronounce the name well, I think we'd all be happy campers... :) In the meantime, we have yet to search for a girl's name - just in case. Any suggestions?

The Last Stretch

I'm on my last trimester and a few more weeks, I'll be able to see, hold, and hug our baby - I can hardly wait!

I have had a relatively easy pregnancy (thank God!). In fact, I've had much more trouble getting pregnant (due to infertility issues) than staying pregnant! Though I have had some barfing episodes in the past, those were tolerable enough and it happens usually at night after dinner. Besides, they were few and far between that I don't really consider it a bad case of morning sickness. I've seen worse and I can only be thankful mine was very mild.

I had my glucose screening test and though I failed the 1-hour test, I aced the 3-hour one. All 4 blood tests for the 3-hour screening came back normal so the doctor was really surprised I failed the 1-hour test at all. I blame it on a bad fast. I was supposed to fast for 12 hours before going in for the test. By 10pm the previous night, I was still feasting on egg pie, and then I went in for my test at 8am. They drew my blood at exactly 9am (an hour after they gave me a very sweet juice to drink). God is really good because I've been praying so hard to pass my second test, which thankfully, I did. I was more worried of the risks to the baby associated with gestational diabetes than I am with dieting. And then, there are holidays coming up which would definitely make it difficult for me to control eating... :)

Now my only complaint is numbness on my wrist and fingers. My doctor calls it carpal tunnel. A wrist splint helps but it doesn't make the pain go away. She said if I really want to get rid of it, I need to see a specialist who will inject steroids. The sound of it just freaked me out so I told her I'd rather not - for my baby's sake.

The Nursery


Our baby's crib (together with a matching drawer) were delivered on Sunday. Of course, mommy was so excited (and exhausted too). Together with my roommate, we have re-organized our then computer room and turned it into a nursery. Since I still have three more months of gestation to go, there will probably be changes here and there but at least you get the idea.

The little dollhouse at the corner is actually mine. As a kid, I never had beautiful toys like these so when a neighbor sold this slightly used dollhouse because he was moving the entire family to Thailand, I just had to grab it. I've always wanted one for myself so this is my way of satisfying my inner child.

What a weekend!!!!




Where did the weekend go? Yesterday, a friend assembled our garden shed and we were able to move our garden stuff in there. It cleared out part of the garage. Then, we moved the unused computer out of the then computer room (now a nursery). I was going to send it to my brother in the Philippines. Hubz told me that they could have it upgraded so it can be used again.



Today, the crib, drawer, and playpen were finally delivered. They were also assembled, except for the playpen. The photos above is how the nursery looks like once the furnitures were in. There might be a few changes here and there from now 'til I give birth but at least, you get the idea.... :)



Next, we visited our close friend ex-neighbors who moved to their new house (a mile or so from where we live). Having undergone ligation after her now 2 year old baby, she is ready to dispose of some of her baby's stuff. Our little boy is now a proud recipient of some hand-me-downs - a bopper pillow, some beddings, bath tub, infant gate. I don't mind hand-me-downs since the baby won't be using it for a long time anyway. At least I can allot the finances intended for that on something else more worthwhile.

Baby Things Shopping Spree

I went to a knitting specialty store in Downtown Napa on Sunday to buy the required needle size for my knitting class on Oct. 15. For some reason, I couldn't find that size in either Michael's or Joann's so I had to go to a specialty store. Unfortunately, they're closed on Sundays and Mondays. But, guess what's open? Cribs 'N Bibs - it's a baby stuff specialty store. They carry items you would never find in Toys 'R Us or Babies 'R Us.

I gawked at this beautiful crib and matching drawers/changing station made of pure wood - tea stain color. It's convertible to a toddler bed too. What's more, they're on sale for 15% off. The manager told me that those were their last pair. If I don't buy those soon and they get sold, they'd have to special order them for me - which will be at a regular price. I tried to veer away from them but I keep going back so I figured, I'd buy a crib sooner or later anyway so why not make it sooner? In short, I bought the set which will be delivered and assembled on Sunday. So now we're on the race to organize the nursery (which is currently the computer room).

Next, I was looking at the colors I want for strollers when I saw this versatile playpen. It has a bassinet with cover that you can take off (when you want to bring the baby to a picnic). Then there's a changing station on the side with slots for wet wipes and diapers. There's a 10% discount off of that. To make the story short, I ended up buying that piece too. The playpen will stay in the family room so that when I'm downstairs scrapping or watching TV, the baby can stay in the bassinet. My worry was that if I lay him down the couch, he'd fall down when he's big enough to roll over. The playpen would be perfect too because as he gets older, he could stay there and play with his toys.

I emailed hubz about these purchases and he replied back commenting on how lucky this baby is. I must agree. He's got the top of the line gadgets and baby stuff right at his fingertips (of course, that would still depend on whether we'll give in to buying those for him). While I grew up with good old fashioned duyan made of abaca which is prone to tilting, he'd have a beautiful crib fit for a king (at least I thought so). I was even teasing hubz that this crib is the same price as my bed!

My roommate told me not to buy any more stuff because they're planning on giving me a baby shower anyway. I've been to dozens of baby showers in the past and a crib, drawers with changing station, playpen are not the sort of gifts you give to a baby shower, so maybe, they were wise purchases after all, or is it just the shopaholic in me justifying my spending?

Sigh, all the things you'd do for your child.

The Birthday Girl

I celebrated my 32nd birthday on Sept. 10 with very few close neighbors. I opted for a small gathering because I'm already having a hard time cleaning up. I get tired easily and my lower back is causing me a great deal of pain. Thank God for good neighbors because they helped us clean up afterwards.

This year is extra special because God gave me the perfect gift, which I am now carrying inside my tummy. Hubz has teased me that this will be my last birthday alone. Next year, I have a baby tagging along. As you can see, I have gained a bit of weight. I am now up to 111 lbs - a 15 lb. addition to my pre-pregnancy weight of 96 lbs. My doctor isn't bothered at all because I used to be underweight anyway. Then, my waistline is now at 35 inches. One more inch and I'd fit into my husband's pants.





Scrapbook Layouts
































I have been in a creative rut for months now and so, it was a big accomplishment for me to finish 4 layouts in one sitting. For our baby's sake (and for both me and hubz' sakes too), I have decided to create a baby book that will document our thoughts, feelings, photos, and emotions from conception to birth. I hope that my efforts will pay off later when our baby is big enough to appreciate and treasure what I've done. Of course, my no. 1 fan is still, undoubtedly, my husband.


We're having a boy!!!!



I had my ultrasound during my 19th week (Aug. 19th to be exact). I was uncomfortable the whole time because my bladder was full. When I saw my baby waving at us, I couldn't help but be amused. Even insde the womb, he was already showing us that he's got star potential. There really is life inside of me - moving and breathing! This must be how a stage mom feels like. I feel like I'm the mom of the smartest kid in the world! Of course, daddy was equally proud. He'd show this photo to anyone who would care to see.

Hubz knew all along that we're having a boy. Even when people around me thought I'm having a girl (all because I look good), he would tell me it's going to be a boy. Now he is so excited because he's got a playmate. Ahhh, boys!


Call me sentimental

Hubz sent me an email a while back that said "I wanted to do this for you and for our baby. I want to give you both a comfortable life". I have never had anyone tell me that. All my life, I have always been my family's breadwinner. I took the responsibility of sending my brother to school, supporting my family, building them a nice home, helping my grandma remodel hers. Every decision I make, I have to always consider them. It gets tiring sometimes because here I am, exhausting myself from work while my brother and my mom remain unemployed - just waiting for their monthly allowance. I cannot lose my job even for a day because I need the money to support them plus pay for my own bills.

It just felt good hearing those words coming from someone who wants to take care of me for a change. I have taken care of everyone else my whole life, and maybe this is God’s way of rewarding me.


I've been tagged

Tagged by Ela, here's my take:

Seven things that scare me:
- hell
- devil/satan
- heights
- crimes
- ghosts
- reptiles
- losing a loved one

Seven things I like the most:
- feeling my baby move
- reading
- scrapping
- surfing the net
- travelling
- going home to PI (to be with my husband and family)
- shopping

Seven random facts about me:
- I just celebrated my 32nd birthday
- I am now on my 23rd week of gestation
- I love to shop
- Two boys in my life that I love with all my heart - my husband and my unborn son.
- I am my family's breadwinner
- I am the eldest in the family
- My secret wish is to become a SAHM someday... :)

Seven important things in our bedroom:
- Bed
- Hubz photos
- My family's photos
- Comforter
- Alarm Clock
- TV
- Phone

Seven things I plan to do before I die:
- Make sure my family will be well taken cared of
- Secure my child's/children's future
- Go to confession
- Ask forgiveness to those I've offended
- Forgive those who offended me
- Visit the Vatican
- Unite my family

Seven things I can do:
- Cook
- Bake
- Sew
- Scrap
- Dance
- Read
- Decorate/clean the house

Seven things I can’t do:
- watch nonsense TV programs
- sit still for a long period of time
- say no to my family
- be a big spender
- go to the moon
- ride a rollercoaster
- watch horror movies alone

Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex:
- smart
- funny
- kind
- patient
- understanding
- God-fearing
- responsible

Seven things I say the most:
- Oh my God
- Uy
- Thank God
- Geez
- Kamote ka
- My gulay
- Ngee

Seven celeb crushes (whether local or foreign):
- Hugh Jackman
- Aga Muhlach
- Brad Pitt
- Tom Welling
- Mel Gibson
- Denzel Washington
- Chad Michael Murray

Seven people you want to see take this quiz:
- Xtine
- Gem
- Josephine
- Jody
- Hanagirl
- Selina
- Leirs

Credit Card Fraud

I recently fell prey to credit card fraud. A week ago, my bank called me to check if I have been to Mexico because there have been questionable charges to my credit card. What's funny is that those are card present transactions.

First of all, I have NEVER been to Mexico. Second, my teammates can attest that during those dates when the fraudulent transactions occurred, I was at work and my meeting attendance can also prove that. Third, I have NOT lost my card. In fact, I was looking at it while talking to the customer rep from the bank. Fourth, I have NEVER asked for a credit card extension on that account.

Whoever got hold of my credit card number had a field day shopping in Mexico. The transactions amounted up to $600+ in two days! Thank God for vigilant banks like mine. Otherwise, I would never have known until he/she has maximized my credit limit! I was then advised to file a police report, complete and sign an affidavit for fraudulent use of credit/debit card.

It still baffles me to this day how this happened. Friends who have had the same experience told me that someone might have duplicated my card when I went to Manila almost recently. I was told that there are groups who does that for a living, and they target foreign issued credit cards just because those have high credit limits.

I do not really know how my card was duplicated, and I may never find out. Let this be a lesson to everyone to be on guard always. Here are some of the tips I have learned from this experience:

• After travelling from foreign countries (even the Philippines), inform your banks that you have lost the card. That way, if it has been duplicated, nobody will be able to make use of it because the card is cancelled.
• Always check your credit card balance and charges.
• When purchasing items online, make sure it is from reputable cyberstores. During checkout, there should be a lock icon on the website to ensure that it is a secure site.
• Make sure your credit card is never out of your sight. When paying at restaurants, make sure they are reputable enough. If you are unsure or you are a first-timer, pay cash instead.
• Be wary of those old credit card readers where your whole credit card number is captured.
• I have also been advised that some culprits would switch your cards at checkout counters. Make sure your card is returned to you and verify that it is indeed your card and not a dummy or someone else's.
• Be careful about phishing scams which are also rampant these days. I have numerous emails being sent to me to verify my account no., address, phone no., and other pertinent information. I usually delete emails such as these but when it is coming from my bank, I usually go through their website directly. I do not trust the link that is being sent with that email.

Most credit card companies offer zero liability on fraud, but you still have to prove that it wasn't you who made those transactions. In my case, I had to file a police report.

I just hope this doesn't happen to anyone else.

Reflections on Motherhood

I have never understood fully what my mom sacrificed to bring me out into the world until I became pregnant. She had a difficult pregnancy. For the first trimester, she threw out everything she ate, but she kept eating because it was the only way I'd survive. She took care of herself because she wanted me to be healthy. She did everything she was supposed to do, even gave up a thriving career when I was born just so she can take care of me personally. You never really know until you experience all these yourself.

Having a baby is a total lifestyle change. My body has been changing with it too. My heaviest was at 100lbs, and I have had a hard time even attaining that weight. Now I'm up to 103 lbs. My waistline was 26 pre-pregnancy, while it's 32 now - 2 more inches and I'll have the same waistline as hubz.

In Manila, I noticed that I was having a hard time fitting into my pants. I even bought a couple of jeans at size 28. I blamed eating too much as the source of my growing tummy. It was only when I came back that I realized I had a baby growing inside of me. No wonder I'm always hungry, and I eat as if it was my last meal! Hubz would tease me that I have a big tummy - now he takes pride seeing it grow!

I had my very first ultrasound last Friday and it was an amazing experience. I saw our baby's heartbeat. It was like a butterfly fluffing its wings. I also saw the baby move for the first time, as if saying "hey mommy, look what I can do". I couldn't help but cry. The feeling was so overwhelming. I am truly in awe of God's goodness. How can one egg and a sperm create a life? Only through God's infinite power.... Too bad hubz isn't here to share this experience with me.

Sure I feel queasy, but I feel fortunate that I haven't really thrown what I eat out of my system. I used to hate milk because it upsets my stomach but I now drink a couple of glasses a day, plus orange juice with calcium, to make sure I have enough vitamins for our baby's development. I get frequent migraines now but that doesn't bother me. I love being pregnant. Here's this little creature whose very existence depended on me. He trusts me completely - without question.

Now I know that when you're a mom, you'd do anything and everything for your child. In as much as my mom has taken good care of me while I was growing up, I hope to do the same, if not better, for my own child.

Reminiscing the trip home...

Well, I'm definitely back, with a bulging tummy at that! Everything I'm feeling is foreign to me, but I do welcome them if it meant our baby is growing inside of me. Sure, I still miss my husband terribly, though at least I have someone to keep me company.... :)

Before my first appointment with my gynecologist, I checked my charts (I was required to keep track of my basal temperature the moment I wake up in the morning). I just realized that my temperate shot up as high as 100.4 degrees (Fahrenheit) on April 20th. My usual basal temps were only on the 97s. What does this mean? It means that I ovulated the day before or on the 20th itself - while we were in Cebu!

Ok, our trip to Cebu wasn't all that. In fact, among all our other trips, that was our least favorite due to very bad customer service at Shang Mactan. Long story... So, you can just imagine that a trip we'd rather forget brought us the baby we've long hoped for. In short, at least something good came out of it.

Our next stop was Panglao in Bohol. This was one trip we truly enjoyed. We stayed at Panglao Island Nature Resort. There wasn't much water activity to do (truly a honeymooner's paradise), but the resort is just oh-so-romantic. To top it off, Bohol is beautiful. The Boholanons were able to maintain their lush greens and the wonder of the famous Chocolate Hills. We were also treated to a special lunch cruising the Loboc River (we were told this was where the movie "Panaghoy sa Suba" was shot). And those tersiers were just endearing. They're not frightening at all!

Between Cebu and Bohol, we also got to see Avilon Zoo. I must say, I was impressed at how they were able to maintain the place and the animals looked well-fed.

Then there were our constant trips to my grandmother's hometown, Pagsanjan. This was also where my aunt celebrated her birthday. Grandma must've invited the whole town!!!! Funny because they seem to know me all, but I don't remember meeting them - ever!

Our last stop was Tagaytay - where we reminisced when we first became a couple. Yep, it was at Picnic Grove in Tagaytay on Nov. 12, 1994 that I first said "I love you" to my now-husband. We also stopped at a chapel called "W.I.S.H". The inscription said that if you hold Our Lady of Manaoag's hands and make a wish, it will be granted. We did just that - and fervently wished for a baby. Our miracle was granted and we will forever be grateful.

To give you a visual of where we've been, and maybe give you an idea where to go, here are some photos we hope you'd enjoy.

'Til my next trip home (whenever that'll be)....

A very wonderful blessing

I had an appointment with my gynecologist today and she has confirmed what we've known all along - I'm 7 weeks pregnant!!!!! We're just so thrilled!

A week ago, at 5:30 in the morning, and after being delayed for 43 days, we decided to brave it through and take the pregnancy test. Hubz wanted to be a part of the whole ritual so I called him. As I immersed the test stick into the urine cup (sorry if the details are gross), I had my eyes closed the whole time - I was praying and eagerly awaiting the result. When I opened my eyes and the tester said "pregnant" (I had a hi-tech digital pregnancy tester), I gasped for breath. After that, I was just crying - tears of joy. Hubz said he had tears in his eyes too.

We have been praying for our little angel since the year we got married. The thought of having a baby occupied every waking moment of my life. I cry whenever I see, hear, or read baby news from friends. It seemed to be happening to everyone except us. This year, I resolved to take control of my life, and trust God that in His time, He will give us the desires of our heart.

You see, we were happy beyond words because I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I don't ovulate, and so we have to see a specialist every year (and spend a fortune on workups, medications, treatments) to trigger my ovulation. For two years, I ovulated but there was no baby. We decided to forego treatments this year, except for some medications that we're still taking. We did not see our doctor. We decided to put our complete trust in God. We turned to prayers.

There is truly nothing impossible with God. When I was first diagnosed of PCOS, it was devastating for me. I wasn't like any other women who just thinks of having another baby and poof, she's pregnant. Ours took a while longer, but it was definitely worth the wait.

People would still say it is going to be tough to raise a baby on my own (with hubz still waiting for his visa to be able to join me here), but we have decided to trust the Lord. After all, it was He who granted us our prayers, so He must've known we can handle it.

To our little angel, know that you are loved even before you were conceived. We longed for you even before we knew you. You were our little miracle - truly heaven-sent. You were the greatest blessing that has ever happened to us.

After almost a month-long rendezvous with hubz in Manila, I am now back to reality. I got back to SFO on Saturday night - sad, alone, and jet lagged!

I'm still in the process of organizing my thoughts but I wanted to make my presence known. To all those who remembered our anniversary, thank you! It had been an amazing two years.

I'll be back to blog soon, with photos of our trips to boot.

Because I will be in hiatus for a full month, I am leaving with a hodge podge of things on my blog:

Happy Birthday to the wonderful man I married - someone who loved and accepted me for who and what I am. I can truly say that you're one of the best that has ever happened to me. I am grateful because God has heard my prayers and He gave me more than what I asked for. I love you - always and forever!

Happy second anniversary hubz! Time just flew by, and I couldn't believe that two years have passed since our blissful wedding day. Had I known that being married to you is going to be the best feeling there is, I would've married you earlier... :) And though we're still far apart, know that in my heart, there is only you.... Here's to forever...

Happy birthday dad! I wish you good health, happiness, peace of mind, enlightenment, strength, hope. Though we've had our differences, no one can change the fact that without you, I will not be here today. I love you and I hope that time will heal all wounds and rekindle our relationship. God bless you!

Happy birthday ninang! Through the years, you have helped me and my family through hard times. Without your help, I do not know where we'll be today. For all those times you unselfishly gave and loved unconditionally, thank you. You will always have a special place in my heart. God bless you and your family always. May the happiness and generosity you shared be returned to you a hundredfold.

Happy Mother's Day to my grandmas (Nanay, Lola, and Mama), to my moms (Mommy and Mommy A.), to my Ninang. I pray that when I become a mother myself, I will be half as good, if not equally good, as you've been to your children and husbands. I love you all!

'Til my next post - a month later probably... :)

7 Days to Go...

I have been told that my smile, these days, spans from ear to ear. What better reason is there than the fact that I'm home-bound a week from today? For someone whose husband is away, I look forward to our yearly rendezvous year after year after year.

When I called hubz the other night, he was talking about how stressed he is these past few days. Of course I was worried that they're trying to squeeze in a full month's worth of work in a week's time (like they do to me over here). Fortunately, that wasn't the case. He's stressed because he's trying to find a condo unit for us (which luckily, he found one). Next, he was scouting for reasonable rates for our trip to Panglao for our second anniversary. Then, he was planning our hectic itinerary - leaving just enough time for us to spend time together - just the two of us. Also, he brought his car in for maintenance so it's ready for long trips to wherever.

As for me, it's been busy as usual - even more, I think. I'm trying to finish off all my post-implementation documents then get a head start on October 2005 Release (for which I was told I will be responsible for). But hey, I'm not complaining. In a week's time, I'm outta here... :)

Lastly, I think even nature's cooperating (if you know what I mean... wink, wink!).

This is how I want to remember His Holiness - lively, charming, gentle, loving, caring.

It was hubz who first broke the news to me via a text message confirming that the Pope has passed away. I was sleeping then because I was on graveyard shift the previous night. Being a light sleeper, the mere beep on my cellphone woke me up. When I read the message, I couldn’t help but cry. I haven’t seen him in person but I felt a deep connection with him. After all, he was the only Pope I knew. Everything about the Pope is the one news I crave for these days. Usually, I get tired at seeing the same news over and over again.

Here is this great man who served the Lord up until his very last breath. Here is someone who obeyed God's will until the very end. Here is one Angel that the world was blessed with.

Goodbye Papa. I will miss you terribly.

An Angel Among Us

All over the world, people have been praying for one of the world's most powerful leaders - Pope John Paul II. I am personally saddened by the fact that he is near death as I write this blog. All throughout his papacy, I have heard amazing stories about him. It had been one of my dreams to one day be able to visit the Vatican and get a glimpse of the Pope.

I recall that he went to the Philippines twice - the last one was in the 1994 (or was it 1995?), hubz had chickenpox then. I wanted to be one of those who lined up the streets of Metro Manila to get a glimpse of His Holiness. Friends who went told me how his mere passing brought tears to their eyes. They felt a sense of peace and overwhelming joy. I guess you can call it a taste of Heaven.

It had been written that because of his steadfast faith, he is able to see Christ like Mother Theresa. It is no surprise that he is well-loved, respected, and well-regarded. These photos will prove just how he much he has touched people's lives.

On Good Friday, the church distributed crosses from the Vatican, blessed by His Holiness himself. I kept that in my wallet to remind me of my dream to visit to the Vatican someday. I do pray that the Pope will pass on peacefully and that the new Pope will have the same effect on the world as his predecessor's.

One great man will soon be coming home to his Creator. I know in my heart that the Heavens eagerly await his arrival. He will be welcomed with open arms and all the angels in Heaven will rejoice in his homecoming.

Here's an LO I did during Easter weekend. I actually started working on it last week and turned the house upside down (my computer mostly) looking for the ring choices before I deemed this LO final.

Hope you all had a meaningful lenten season. Mine was quiet, though busy at work. Unlike the Philippines where Maundy Thursday and Good Friday are considered holy days and holidays, it is but a regular working day here in the US. Still, we tried to make it a point to go to church. First, to thank Jesus for the sacrifice He made to save us from sins. Second, to reflect on where I've been and where I'm going. Third, to rejoice now that the Lord has risen. Fourth, to renew my hope in the Risen Christ. With Him, all things are possible.

Vertigo Tour: U2 in Concert

Everytime I hear a U2 song being played on the radio, I feel a deep sense of regret. I have always been a big fan of this band for as long as I can remember. I love their songs, and I so love Bono!!!! He truly knows how to rock!

When I heard that U2 is going to have a concert in San Francisco on April 9th, I felt giddy with excitement! I will finally be able to hear my favorite band play. I asked some friends if they wanted to watch them in concert but I guess I'm the only rocker around here, tee-hee! My roommate L has friends visiting from Australia on that weekend. Neighbor R said it's her SIL's birthday that day so they're going out to celebrate. I'm torn between watching alone, or not seeing them at all!

As soon as their tickets were released to the general public, they sold like hotcakes. People actually camped out to get some. And so, by the time I'm ready to get a couple (will just beg a friend to see it with me, hehehe!), they're gone - as in SOLD OUT!!!!!! You can just imagine how disappointed I was then, especially hearing Bono at the Grammy's when he apologized to the fans who couldn't get any more tickets - thanks Bono, I'm one of them fans!

I searched ebay hoping for some tickets at a reasonable price, but I couldn't find any in SFO anymore. They have tickets selling in Chicago, LA, and some other states, but not around here. What's outrageous is the prices they're selling it for. Would you believe they're going for $500 a piece, and people are actually buying them?! What irritated me is the fact that there people like me who would like to get tickets because I'd like to actually see the show, but can't get anymore, while there are vultures out there would hoard tons of tickets to auction off to the highest bidder. They're making an easy profit out of someone else's suffering!!!!

Oh well, just venting out I guess. I'm hoping this isn't their last tour because I swear, even if I have to camp out the next time, I will... just so I can see them in concert!

Hmmm, it's St. Patrick's day today, and what do you know, I'm blogging about an Irish band. Is it coincidence or what?! Happy St. Patty's Day anyway!

What My Husband Misses About Me

In exactly a month and 13 hours from the time this blog gets posted, I am leaving for Manila. I can hardly wait!

I asked hubz a while back what he misses about me and here's his response:

* Holding hands while walking. There's no greater feeling than having someone walk with you side by side, holding your hand as if they're afraid of losing you.

* The cook in me. He said he misses having tapsilog, longsilog, baconsilog, or tocilog for breakfast, complete with coffee and a table made up for two... :)

* Snuggling in front of the TV or just plain cuddling. When we were just starting out, he told me he loved me because I'm so "malambing". In fact, when we'd get into an argument (because of my own doing), I won't necessarily say "I'm sorry", but I'll snuggle with him. He said no matter how angry he'd be, I have the ability to soften his heart when I do that.

* Talking face to face. Though we talk on the phone every single day, nothing compares to the magic of being able to talk to each other in person.

* Flirting with each other. He would kiss me at random, fiddle with my hair, hug me tight. It's simple ways of showing off our love for each other.

* Plain ol' foolishness. We'd tease each other endlessly and we'd laugh so hard in the end.

* Dining out. My husband is a penny-pincher. He would seldom eat out, especially not on his own. Ask him about good restaurants and he'll ask someone else. He once told me he loves it when I come home because he gets to try different restaurants.

* Dates. Be it a date to the movies, or a date with friends, he enjoys it immensely just because he's with me.

* Going to church together. There was a time when we got into an argument because he doesn't go to church all that often. He told me he misses me whenever he does that. Now he's back to going to church regularly. In part, I owe it to the fact that he lost his ring and because of dire prayers, he found it. He told me he is so grateful that he was spared of a big expense - I was demanding a diamond wedding band, should he lose his'.

* Making plans. It is when I get home that we get to plan and dream of our future. You know, serious stuff.

Of course there are other reasons but if I am to keep this blog wholesome, I'd have to stop here. I think you know what I mean (wink, wink).... :)

One good thing about being in an LD marriage is that we always feel like newlyweds everytime we're together. Everyday is a honeymoon. We try not to argue because we'll spoil the short time we spend together.

Ahh, a month to go and still counting... :)

An LD Husband's Request

Part of my frustrations as an LD wife and a good cook (testimony based on my victims' willing participation on my recipe experiments, hehehe!) is not being able to cook for my dear husband. On occasion, I would cook gazillions of food to feed an army, but I couldn't get the chance to sample it on my husband's very choosy palate. Whenever I'd come home, our activities would prevent us from eating in, not to mention that the condo units we end up renting has miniature furnitures that it's tough to fix something to eat.

You see, I am very particular about the kitchen. I want it fully functional and big, with lots of cabinets to store the precious cooking gadgets I've accumulated over the years. This is all because I experiment a lot. I look for new menus to whip up. I especially like baking and so an oven is a must. Most of the time, I'm successful with my so-called cooking experiments.

And so, a few days ago, I was talking to hubz and he told me he missed my garlic fried rice, eggs, and longganisa or tocino or tapa or bacon in the morning. He was asking me if I could cook them for him when I come home. I'm thinking, "ok, I can definitely do that!" My husband's taste is very simple - he's a carnivore who loves sinigang. You can probably serve him that everyday and he wouldn't mind! Next, I told him about baking and decorating a chocolate cake for a friend's baby shower yesterday, and he asked if I could bake him cakes too. I told him I'd be happy to do it except he'd have to hook me up with an oven, hehehe! He requested sans rival and so I'm in now in the lookout for a good recipe to experiment with. Friends and good-hearted neighbors, look out, hahaha!

Note that I used to bake a lot - back when my roommate has no clue she had diabetes. When she was diagnosed, she toned down on sweets. So, if I do find the time to bake, I'd either give most of it away (to happy recipients?) or eat them all on my own (bad idea!). That said, it had been a while since I practiced my baking. But hey, I've got a month and a half to hone my skills.... :)

Don't worry hubz, I have it on my list to fatten you up with good food courtesy of moi! After all, you don't get dubbed the domesticated goddess for nothing - with the kitchen as my kingdom, and the ladle as my scepter, what can possibly go wrong?

Happy birthday Jane! Lots of hugs your way today!

The Never-Ending Saga that started with a Fender Bender

In late 2003, we had a little fender bender in San Francisco, going towards the Bay Bridge. This filipino guy hit us because he was on the phone. Our story began...

Since it was my roommate's car, the guy gave her his contact information sans his address, his insurance policy no. and the name of the insurance company. My roommate immediately contacted the insurance company and this lady that she first talked to was very helpful. She made sure they paid for her car repairs without question. L also informed her about back pains and she advised us to see a chiropractor. When we told her we had an initial consultation with one, she told us this doctor that we went to is know to charge exorbitant fees, but to go ahead and send her our bills later. All's well (or so we thought).

After our treatments, we were given the final bill and though we were shocked of the bottomline, we submitted our claims to the insurance company. The new adjustor called us to ask for an appointment for routinary questions. When we called him for the appointment, he told us that there wasn't any need. Then, we got a notice in the mail that our claim was denied - no further explanations!!!

Our nightmare began - we started the phone brigade with the insurance guy but he wouldn't return our calls. When he finally did, after several attempts, he was very rude and even had the nerve to say he's "protecting his client, and that we might be taking advantage of the situation". Well, helloooo - if we are, we should've hired a lawyer in the first place and not have done it ourselves. Besides, we gave them a copy of the final bill, no more, no less. If we were taking advantage, we should've asked for more money that that!

We have no choice but to file a small claims case. First, it was against the insurance company but the judge told us we can't sue a corporation. We need to sue the guy so he'd go after his insurance company. Fine, we were re-scheduled. Since my roommate wasn't given an address, we decided to do our own investigative search. We came up with several addresses - a few in Sacramento and some more in San Francisco. The phone no. that the guy gave my roommate had Sacramento's area code, we decided to go there first. We went to the sheriff's office so they can serve him the summons. We were told they needed a month to do that. With only days to go before the next hearing date, we were running out of time.

Today was our hearing so we showed up at the court and told the judge what happened. Luckily, my roommate called the San Francisco phone no. prior to our schedule today and she was told that he wasn't home, which meant that he lives in SFO (and not Sacramento). We asked the judge if we should continue to pursue the case in Napa when he lives in SFO and the accident happened there. The case was dismissed and true enough, we needed to file in SFO.

As soon as we were out of Napa Superior Court, it was a mad dashed to the city to file a small claims case and have them serve him a certified mail.

A simple accident that could've been settled out of court turned into a nightmare and a continuing saga. I still think insurance companies are high-profile crooks. You get asked to pay your insurance premiums, you pay it religiously to the point of sacrificing a few luxuries, and then they screw you just when you need them to pay up! I'm sure the poor guy who caused the accident saw an increase in his insurance premiums because he is now considered a "road hazard", while here we are, scratching our heads and are close to begging them to pay for a $4K chiropractor bill!

Lesson to everyone - if you ever end up in an auto accident, ask for the complete contact information (including address) and take photos. Cellphones now come with cameras which could prove useful should you end up in this situation. Then if you can, file a police report. This way, the "crooks" cannot deny your claim because you have it documented.

What a bitter lesson to learn! I sure hope it doesn't happen to anyone else.

This is an LO I made out of hubz' Valentine's Day gift to me.

Have a nice weekend everyone!

How Do You Know You're Doing Too Much Shopping?

...when the sales staff recognizes you as their frequent shopper - that's when!

I went to Joann's last night to buy some scrap stuff. At the counter, the cashier looked at me and said "you always shop here, don't you?" So I'm caught! :) I confess, I always go to craft stores, especially at Joann's and I almost always would find something to buy. Be it a $2 sticker set, or some $50 worth of scrap materials. So I'm an shopaholic - sue me! I'm just one of the millions of women in the world who are addicted to shopping.

I have failed miserably on my New Year's resolution yet again. I told myself I was going to stop scrap shopping. Well, stop I did - at least for a week or so, hahaha! Now I'm back (and as Christine puts it) with a vengence! To be honest, I only go to Joann's if I have a 40% off coupon - I swear! I may have more than one at a time so either I'd pay separately (you can only avail of the discount on a single receipt), or come back the following day. This may have accounted for my frequency at the store. And when I shop, I linger for a while, going around in circles - looking, touching, feeling, trying to imagine where I'd use them. Most often than not, I'd end up buying them, especially if they're $5 or less. My justification? We're women - we're supposed to take our time to shop right? Another justification? I'm working my butt off for that money and so I deserve bits of rewards here and there. If scrap shopping makes me happy, so be it!

Here's the thing - if that sales person knew that aside from going to the store, I also do A LOT of internet shopping as well, I'm sure she'd faint. Just this weekend, I got 5 sizzlits alphabet sets from ebay - bounce, graffitti, funky brush, boxed brush, rat-a-tat. I also got some foam stamps (corners and paisley), MM cityscapes paints, junkitz alphabet buttons - all from scrapper's paradise. Come to think of it, I've been drooling over these things for weeks now because I kept holding on to my hard-earned money. Call me a typical Virgo (something I have in common with Hanagirl) but when I want something, I won't stop 'til I get it. $$$$ is not a problem unless I'm totally broke. Besides, I'd consult hubz before I give in to my whim. He never says NO anyway so we're still married, hahaha!

I used to be very stingy because I save a lot, I invest, I support my family back home. I still do that but I have also learned to allot something for myself. After all, if I don't try to enjoy it now, when will I get that chance? I made sure that if something should happen to me (knock on wood), my family is well taken cared of. But who will do that for me? Tell me, am I being selfish when I splurge a little?

The Long Weekend that's Waaay tooo short!!!

I have been giddy about the prospect of the looming long weekend since the early part of the week. Now that it's here, I'm longing for it not to end so soon!

We went to our accountant yesterday to get our taxes over and done with. On our way home, we got stuck in the heavy traffic at the Bay Bridge. Just great - the rain was pouring and the traffic was sooo bad!!! It took us a couple of hours to get home.

This morning, we went to church to hear mass and in the afternoon, I was in the mood to organize my craft space. You see, I have all my scrap stuff all over the place that I can't seem to keep track of the materials I have. My back ached but I was satisfied of the outcome. Check it out...





Tomorrow's another day and I plan to scrap 'til I drop... :) I figured, I might as well make the most of my day since it'll be back to the gruelling grind on Tuesday for me... :(

53 days to go...

Ain't She Cute? Her Name is Beatrice


Just when I thought I wasn't getting anything for Valentine's Day, this little fella came along in the mail... :)

Happy V-Day hubz! I'm just amazed at how you can surprise me every single time!

The Photo that speaks a thousand words....



This came in 3 months before our second year anniversary!!!! :)

V-Day is almost here....

A week before my first Valentine's day here in the US, my then teammates asked me what my plans were. They knew about me having a boyfriend overseas so that question was pointless. It was actually a preempt to invite me over for dinner with a few more couple friends. Of course I declined because I knew that was a pity invite. After all, what am I going to do without a date? Stare at them for hours and serve them dinner?! I didn't think so!

Being in an LD relationship, I get these "so-you-have-a-boyfriend-but-you-don't-have-a-date" look all the time. I call them the pity look. Initially, I hated it, but I have learned to deal with it. So what if I don't have a date? So what if I'll spend V-day all by myself where dating for us meant spending hours on the phone? At least I married the man of my dreams, which is more than I can say for some of these people! Sure, they have dates - but that's all there is to it - a date. Every year, it's a different person. Year after year, a different date.

Hubz and I have taught ourselves that V-day is just like any other day. After all, when you love someone you're with, doesn't it feel like Valentine's every single day? I'm blessed because I get the chance to fall in love with him over and over again everyday. We don't get to be together but we get to talk, and plan, and dream of our future.

One Valentine's Day sometime in the near future, I know that we'll get to spend it together. In the meantime, this special Valentine's greeting goes your way. Happy Heart's Day!

I Hate Goodbyes

Four staffs in our department decided to call it quits. I have had the opportunity of working with three of them in the past so it was quite a shock for me.

JD decided to retire to concentrate on the family business. They started a franchise of a popular sandwich chain a year and a half ago when her husband retired. It was doing very well now. It had been stressful for her because right after work, she'll jump right in at the store and do the bookkeeping. Now she said their business is at a point where they need her presence more than the paycheck she's bringing in. Way to go JD! And thanks for the Wisconsin state quarters, mints, and the business card you left at my desk. I'll keep in touch.

I have long been hearing JC just counting the days so he can finally retire. He's quite well off actually, being a real estate broker and owning a number of properties both in the Philippines and here. It's funny because he's quitting to take care of his grandchildren.... :) He's so smitten by them that when his other son got stationed in Japan with his whole family, he decided he'd follow them to be with his grandson, and taking his other granddaughter along. What a treat!

Lastly, I am closest to AF because we have worked closely together in the past. She's a very nice person, and has resigned to take care of her sick sister - her only family left. Sad because she initially wanted to avail of the family leave but they wouldn't let her since it doesn't cover siblings - only parents and spouse and children. I can see where she's coming from because she'd like to spend as much time as possible to the only family she has left. I truly admire her because she initially took care of her parents when they got sick until the time they passed away. Then came her brother, and now it's her sister. If only there are more caring people like her in the world...

I'm not very good at saying goodbye because I get so affected. When I saw AF before she went off, we were both misty-eyed. Of course we promised to keep in touch. In fact, we're having lunch this Thursday just to catch up. I guess it's the friendship that I'll miss the most because no matter how hard I tried to keep it at a professional level, I can't help but get attached to people.

To all of you, good luck and God bless! 'Til we meet again.

70 Days to go....

...and counting...



I just purchased my airline ticket today - woohoo!!!! I called two more travel agents and I decided to go for the cheapest PAL airfare (if you consider that cheap!).



I panicked because the other two travel agents I called told me that the return flight is already at a waiting list. Boy I tell ya, those seats went fast, to think that the new rates were just released on the 1st of Feb. - talk about panic-buying! So, to be assured of the seat, I told my agent to book me on those flights pronto!



So, brace up Manila, here I come... yahoo!!!!

Let the countdown begin....

With only 72 days to go, I have been seriously scouting for tickets to Manila from different travel agencies since yesterday. Though waiting for a couple more quotes, I think I have a pretty good idea now how much it'll cost me to be with my husband, hehehe!

I was talking to hubz last night and we were discussing how expensive these tickets cost these days! Who would think that April is considered a peak season - all because it's summer vacation in the Philippines?! He was suggesting other airlines to save a few bucks but I am pretty adamant on flying via PAL this time. I am getting tired of stop-overs. Besides, PAL arrives in Manila during the wee hours in the morning, and leaves for the US at night. That'll give us a little more time to be together, hehe! Pathetic isn't it? A few hours of togetherness bring us enormous amount of joy!!!! Oh well, that's the downside of being in an LD relationship!

I hope to make the decision which travel agency to book with by the end of this week so we can get that squared away. Next, we hope to be able to plan our escapades. Abangan....

Sigh, 72 days, and I'm home-bound! Do I hear Gary V. singing "Babalik Ka Rin?"

I've been tagged



I got tagged by Xtine so here's my take:



Random 10:

1. How Did You Know rendition by Gary V.

2. Kailangan Kita (again by Gary V.)

3. Sharon Trilogy - Sana'y Wala Nang Wakas, Pangarap na Bituin, Bituing Walang Ningning (such classics!)

4. Promise Me - Beverly Craven

5. Valentine - Martina McBride

6. The Prayer - Charlotte Church and Josh Groban

7. You Raise Me Up - Josh Groban

8. You're Still You - Josh Groban

9. I Will Be Here - Gary V. rendition

10. Because You Loved Me - Celine Dion



I'm a hopeless romantic kaya naman I listen to love songs most of the time (and read lots of love stories)... :)



1. What is the total amount of music files on your computer?

None. I usually listen to CDs.



2. The last CD you bought is....

I don't buy CDs anymore, but my husband sends them to me.... Night of the Champions, Side A Anthology, Sarah Geronimo, and Eric Santos



3. What is the last song you listened to before this message?

The theme song from Gilmore Girls.... don't know the title... :)



4. Write down five songs you listen to a lot or mean a lot to you:

a. I Will Be Here (my bridal walk)

b. Promise Me (and my husband kept that promise too, hehehe!)

c. Pangarap na Bituin (life story ko 'ata ito)

d. Kailangan Kita (obvious ba?)

e. Hero by Mariah Carey



5. Who are you gonna pass this stick to? (3 persons and why)

Ate June (just want to know what this girl's up to, hehehe!)

Josephine and Leirs (want to know what my n@w sisterettes' interests are)

Thank You...

A couple of weeks ago, my dad called me with news of his health that troubled me. There was blood in his bowel. He went to see the doctor because aside from the blood, it was very uncomfortable for him too. He was diagnosed with colon cancer. I wept when I received the news.

Dad and I had a falling over years ago which would qualify for another post. We seldom talk and when we do, it was short and civil. But, no matter how much wide that gap became, I was still affected. I lost my beloved grandfather to the big C almost 20 years ago, and I don't think I can stand losing someone else dear to me again. I hate that sickness. I hope the world will be rid of it soon.

I prayed hard, and asked for prayers. To those who cared enough to read my blog, they responded with comments saying they would. To all of you, I say thank you. Our prayers were heard, and after tests and a minor surgery on Friday, it was determined that his' was a Stage 1. Thank God it was caught early on, and merely by accident. The blood on his bowel was unrelated to the Big C. God is good, because he orchestrated that nerve to burst, thereby leading him to the doctor, and thus, discovering a Stage 1 cancer.

In another month, more tests, and possibly another surgery might be needed. I would ask you to please continue to pray for my dad. He may not be the best father in the world, but he's the one I was blessed with.

Most of all, to our Father in Heaven, thank You.... My heart sings with gladness.

I sooo love my new PalmOne Treo 600. Who wouldn't when it's a PDA, camera phone, cellphone in one?! I believe you can also play MP3 music with it (though I haven't tried it yet).



Whew, talk about technology gadgets of the 21st century!

Lost... and then Found!

Hubz called me on Friday night and he was panicking. He said he lost his wedding ring, and that he has turned the house upside down looking for it. Of course I was amused because even his mom and his grandma were helping him look for it. At the back of my mind, I was sort of imagining what type of wedding ring I'll request next, hehe! I know, I'm bad... but hey, a girl can dream of a diamond studded platinum wedding band can't she?

Ok, so I did a little research over the weekend, even sent a photo to hubz on the possible design. I also told him about some couples having two sets of wedding bands - one for daily use, and another for special occasions only. He said that was a good idea, until I told him how much platinums cost these days. He almost fell off his chair, tee-hee!

So, come Monday, he called me as soon as he got to work, to let me know he found his ring! He was so excited 'coz it was under his desk - a little hidden from view. So, all my illusions of a new wedding band went kapoot!

But, hey, I'm glad he found his wedding ring. After all, it's blessed, and it was the same ring we used to profess our undying love to each other - you know, the 'til death do us part piece.

In remembrance of....

Hubz sent me a text message today informing me that grandma's elder sister N passed away. She and grandma had a rift that started out so many years back. I don't even remember what that was about. It's sad because they have never been able to patch things up before she passed on.

I recalled vividly years ago (I was fresh out of college then) when we attended grandma's eldest sister's 80th birthday. Lola N was there in attendance as well. Through our prodding, grandma hugged Lola N, trying to bridge their gap but Lola N pushed her away. Their siblings were shocked of her reaction and of course, tried to appeal to her good heart. They even told her that since they're in their twilight years, they should just forgive and forget. Heck, I don't even know who should do the forgiving between the two of them. My heart went out to grandma because she humbled herself but received rejection and hurtful words.

I do hope that Lola N, wherever she is, has finally learned to let go of all the hatred she has harbored in her heart. It is only by forgiving that she will be able to experience peace. I will say silent prayers for you Lola N. May your soul rest in peace.

Let this be a lesson to everyone that life is short. There is no better feeling in the world than to let go of all the negative feelings we have towards other people. God knows I carry some of those in my heart, and through constant prayer, I am beginning to slowly patch things up with those I have burned bridges with. The Lord has taught me great lessons in life, and one of them, is not to take things for granted. After all, we will never know when He'll call us to join Him.

Sorry for the mushy blog. I am going through some very emotional times these days. Please pray for me and my family.

The Year in Review



The past year, though still living on my own and away from hubz, brought me a lot of things and events to be thankful for. Good or bad, big or small, I have learned to be grateful for these things because it could easily be worse. I've been saying this over and over again, even when I had a bought with colds, cough, sore throat, on and off fever, I still feel blessed primarily because I'm alive.



Thank you dear Lord, for another year has passed. As I look forward to 2005, here are some of the milestones of the past year:



January – I attended a Cake Decorating class that filled up my Tuesday nights – baking and decorating a cake to bring to class on Wednesday evenings. The class was fun! Creating a well-decorated cake may be too time-consuming (it takes me about 4 hours to bake and decorate an 8” cake) but seeing the look on people’s eyes when I unveil my “masterpiece” and the praises I receive after they’ve tasted it, made all the effort worthwhile. Also, I have led a team of 10 staff to a successful off-release install. We started the project in November the previous year, and with about 5000+ man-hours, we delivered! The install was an uneventful one, which is a good thing, considering the hurdles that we had to overcome along the way.



February – Hubz and I celebrated Valentine’s Day over the phone. Nothing much to report this month, except my very eager countdown to April.



March – I finally got the camera I have been dreaming of for a long time! I wanted a digital SLR and I initially have my eyes on Nikon’s D100, but our wedding photographer (turned friend) advised me to wait for the D70 instead because it’s supposedly better than the D100. He was so right! The release date was March 2004, and I pre-ordered it way back in January. I have been drooling over digital SLRs for more than a year – justifying why I need to buy myself one. When I finally got my new camera in the mail, I was soooo ecstatic! Immediately after they released it, the website where I ordered it from has it backordered already! No wonder it was 2004’s Camera of the Year!!!!!



April – Thanks to the movie “The Passion of the Christ”, I had a very meaningful Lenten journey in 2004. I also got the promotion I have been hoping for a long time. The week prior to my long-awaited trip to Manila, roommate L’s friends from New Zealand – N & T came over for a visit. We took them to picturesque Yosemite. Then, on mid-April, I was home-bound to be with my husband. The night prior to my trip home, I couldn’t sleep because I was just sooo excited. I consider April and May my happiest months of the year because I get to be with my husband!!! It’s what long distance wives like me live for – year after year after year! We went to Corregidor the first week I was there. Because we were the only ones to stay in the island overnight, it was eerie and exciting at the same time. We were scaring ourselves off because of ghost stories around the island. Still, it felt good sleeping in the arms of my husband – my favorite place in the world…



May – I cooked up a surprise birthday party for hubz. With the help of some very close friends, I almost pulled it off. He got the hint at the last minute though, right when we were on our way to the venue. At the parking lot, he recognized the cars parked and I had to walk ahead so he wouldn’t see me giggling. I still have to pat myself in the back because he didn’t get the hunch until the day itself! We also celebrated our first year anniversary with my family and his’ at Villa Escudero. The only downside was, I wasn’t feeling very well – I was sick to my stomach the whole time – for personal reasons. In fact, I had to return to the US a week later than planned because they rushed me to the hospital on the day I was to fly back! Who knows, I just might be able to usher enough courage to write about this in my coming posts.



June – This is probably my most depressing month. After spending 5 weeks with my husband, I just couldn’t stop crying. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at our photos together, couldn’t even watch the video. Even when I was back in full throttle at work, it just isn’t the same. I come to work with puffy eyes and my attention constantly drifts away. I daydream a lot, I cry myself to sleep every night, I call often and talk with hubz for hours on end. If coming home was paradise, coming back without my husband is pure and absolute torture.



July – I have started to put into action something I read in “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”. I decided it was time I paid myself first. I opened a savings account entirely for that purpose and before long, the formula proved effective because my savings continued to grow, and I constrained my expenses to what is left of my savings and bills allotment.



August – I embarked on a new and somewhat-expensive hobby, thanks to the prodding of a dear friend, Christine. Because I have tons of photos waiting to be organized, I started scrapbooking, then later, cardmaking. I thoroughly enjoyed my new hobbies and tried to scrap almost every weekend. It somehow filled the void of not having my husband around. It also kept me busy scrap shopping, tee-hee!



September – On the day I celebrated my 31st birthday, my roommate and I also closed escrow on a rental property up in Sacramento. After the call from our realtor to greet me a happy birthday and to relay the good news, I just cried and cried – all because I couldn’t believe how much God has blessed me! On the third week of September, roommate L’s sister and her whole family visited from New Zealand. A few days later, they were gone, embarking on a very long and tedious drive to Yosemite, Tahoe, Arizona, Utah, Las Vegas, then back to SFO.



October – I led a semi-successful install into completion – the largest our company has ever seen, thus far. It was semi-successful because there were a few glitches in Production, but none that we could’ve caught. They were caused mainly by other systems outside the applications we’re responsible for – whew! The install was comprised of 25 projects, 18 staffs, and 21,000 man-hours! Because I deserved a much-needed break, I flew in to Las Vegas to meet with roommate L, her sister, and her sister’s family. I immensely enjoyed the trip!



November – Hubz and I celebrated our 10th year anniversary as gf/bf over the phone. It was nice to reminisce those good old years, but equally nostalgic as well! Then, we had another set of guests from Texas. Being the hospitable hosts, we took them to Sausalito, the City, then to Napa Valley.



December – This is one Christmas I didn’t feel like celebrating. I was not in the mood to decorate the house. For the first time in 6 years, we didn’t put up a tree. I was also grumpy that was why our neighbors dubbed me “Scrooge”. However, we spent Christmas Eve at Disneyland and California Adventure, which had been fun. We ended the year with a little get-together at home with very close friends and godchildren.



2004 came to an end abruptly fast, and 2005 is here to stay. May the coming year bring us all good health, happiness, peace, safety. Most of all, may the Lord continue to bless us all and shower us with His graces.



Here's to another fruitful year!

January Birthday Greetings



2nd - DM

3rd - RO

7th - FPD

8th - GEM

9th - JDL

12th - LCDC



To all you special people, a very happy birthday!!!!

As we bid farewell to 2004, let me sum up the things I have learned that has proven useful. I hope to continue it on through 2005, and hopefully, add a few more along the way.



Pay yourself first. I have read this from the book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki. I have decided to adapt it in my finances, and it has proven to be very effective. On top of my monthly budget is a specific amount I set aside for my savings. The remainder would then be divided towards other bills - from mortgage payments, to utilities, to little luxuries. In the past, I would usually buy the things I want and the remainder of it goes towards my savings. I reversed it in 2004. By doing so, I am making sure that my savings grow, while trying to live within what's left of it.



Live within your means. This isn't new. I have always lived a simple life - making sure that I don't overspend. Even when I want something, I think a number of times first before I give in to my whims. For instance, there's this digital SLR that I have always wanted to buy. It took me a year to finally decide to splurge on it. I was trying to justify whether it's practical or not, even amidst the prodding of my husband. I did a lot of calculations first and only when I'm sure that I'll be able to pay for it in the shortest time possible did I finally give in. Now, I am trying to justify whether I need a new PDA or not (my old one went bonkers almost a year ago), and this has been an ongoing debate for months now. You see, here in the US, it's so easy to incur so much debt because I get a lot credit card pre-approvals in the mail everyday. I don't allow myself to fall into these pitfalls. After all, I'd have to pay them sooner or later.



Invest, invest, invest. Do not put your future in the hands of the social security system, or the 401K, or your savings. By diversifying investments, you're somehow making sure that when one drops, you at least have your funds invested in other things.



If you can't invest in Real Estate, invest in jewelries. This, I have learned from my grandma, and has helped us through the years. Even when my grandma was earning a measly salary, she made sure she set aside a specific amount to afford jewelries - for herself, and for her two girls. Because my mom had a few valuable pieces (thanks to my grandma), she would bring it to a pawnshop whenever we needed money, and that would pull us through.



Do not take things for granted. From the recent calamities that struck Manila - all four storms, to the tsunami that hit some parts of Southeast Asia, God has proven yet again that we are not indispensable. What He has given us, He can take away anytime - including the gift of life.



Treat each day as if it is your last. God knows I have harbored enough ill feelings in my heart. Now, I am trying, with God's help, to forgive and finally, forget. It is going to be a long haul, and a tough ride. But, deep in my heart, I know that God will help me through.



The power of prayer. Over the years, I have been asked how I am able to survive being away from my loved ones. I have discovered long before the power of prayer. I talk to God when I feel down. I pray when I feel uneasy. I voice out my worries. I pray for my aspirations and dreams. I lift up my problems to Him. I take comfort in knowing that amidst it all, I am not alone. I hold on to His promise that He will be with me always, and I have proven that over and over again.

2004 - The Year that was....



Goodbye 2004 - hello year of the Rooster!!!!



How does someone overseas celebrate the coming of the new year? With dear friends of course! We had a post-christmas get-together here at home on New Year's eve. This has been an ongoing tradition since 1998, and over the years, a few people have been added, but the essence remained the same - to keep each other company for the holidays. We had a table-full of sumptuous food - paella, kaldereta, fried chicken, meatballs, lumpiang shanghai, sotanghon, shrimp, cassava bibingka, macaroni salad, ham - which my roommate and I cooked. Our friends brought mac and cheese, jello, buco salad, jack in the box dessert, kutsinta, and taho! Whew, talk about pigging out! The last of our guests left at 9pm - all were in a hurry to get home in time for New Year.



Filipinos have been known to easily adapt to their environment - wherever they may be. Since our families are all back home, we have learned to depend on friends. We have formed this bond since we first came here in 1997. In fact, I am the godmother to at least one of their kids!



I burned the phone lines at around 12:30am on January 1, Manila time. I had to make sure my husband's fingers were still intact even after firing all those firecrackers to welcome the new year! We reminisced the beginning of 2002 when I went home to spend New Year in Manila. We were together then - in fact, it was on January 3 when he actually proposed! I'm feeling homesick again....



Before the year ended, after the last of our guests left, I lost my voice! To date, I am harboring a little fever, cough, colds. What a way to welcome the new year huh? I guess it's because of the weather, and then of course, I may have gotten it from some of our guests who have just been through flu over the holidays!



Hopefully, 2005 will be a better year! Counting down the days 'til I see hubz again! :)



Lastly, please continue to pray (and help when you can) for all the victims of the deadly tsunami, and the four storms that hit the Philippines before the year ended. May those who passed away rest in peace, and may those who were left behind be able to pick up and go on.