The Pains of a Long Distance Marriage
Hubz applied for a tourist visa yesterday, hoping he'd be able to come to the US before I give birth. His petition is underway and we have been receiving a lot of correspondences from NVC (National Visa Center). We thought that that is proof enough that he will definitely come back to wait for the final leg. Wrong! The consul told him that their policy is to deny tourist visa applications when there is a pending petition. They don't even care what the purpose of his visit was. It's a red flag among them to deny applications when immigrant petitions are pending. Hubz told me that a lot of tourist visas were granted yesterday. Unfortunately, he wasn't one of those lucky ones. The consul even checked the status of his petition and advised him to just wait. He wasn't even asked for any other proof that he'd definitely come back.
My heart just went out to him because I know he feels bad about it. Imagine not being there when your child is born! I tried to put a brave face amidst it all because I didn't want him to worry about me and the baby. After we talked, I just cried. I even fell asleep crying!
How can they be so heartless? It doesn't matter to them that I don't have a family nearby to help me out when I give birth. True, I could always come home but hubz and I decided it wouldn't be a good idea. The main reason why we're struggling amidst the pains of temporary separation is so we can give our children a good future. Argh, all the things you sacrifice for your child!
I was out to dinner with my roommate and another friend (celebrating her birthday) when I received the news. My friends noticed the change in my expression. Immediately this other friend offered to be there when I give birth. She asked my roommate to call her as soon as my contractions start and she'll assist me (with my roommate) at the hospital. I also have a few more friends who expressed their intentions to help - whether it be at the hospital or my first few weeks at home. I consider myself blessed to have friends like them.
These past few weeks, I have also been busy attending childbirth classes. I feel bad because I seem to be one of those without their husbands in attendance. In a way, I resented our being apart, especially at this time. But, when I got the news regarding his tourist visa application being denied, I knew I don't have the right to feel bad. At least I'll be with our baby while he can't even hug or kiss him for a while. What could be more painful than that, right? I have a baby to hold while he'd only have pictures to keep him company. He's even worried that when they finally meet, our baby won't even recognize him.
Still, even through all these, I know we still have a lot more to be thankful for. I just pray that this LD business will soon come to an end because it's taxing enough for me and my husband - and our baby will soon be added to that equation!
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
What I'm Thankful For...
Thanksgiving is upon us again. This gives me the opportunity to reflect on the things and events in my life I'm really grateful for. This year is especially meaningful because God gave us the gift of life. Amidst our infertility issues, the challenges of having a long-distance marriage, and the once-a-year rendezvous, we were given this rare opportunity to journey through parenthood. At Thanksgiving, our precious angel is 33 weeks old. A few more weeks and we'd get a glimpse of the li'l creature I've been nurturing in my womb.
There is a saying that we should always count our blessings. Let me take this chance to list down all the wonderful things and events that happened this year. All those that we're truly grateful for...
Thanksgiving is upon us again. This gives me the opportunity to reflect on the things and events in my life I'm really grateful for. This year is especially meaningful because God gave us the gift of life. Amidst our infertility issues, the challenges of having a long-distance marriage, and the once-a-year rendezvous, we were given this rare opportunity to journey through parenthood. At Thanksgiving, our precious angel is 33 weeks old. A few more weeks and we'd get a glimpse of the li'l creature I've been nurturing in my womb.
There is a saying that we should always count our blessings. Let me take this chance to list down all the wonderful things and events that happened this year. All those that we're truly grateful for...
- After a couple of years of trying, and after rounds of medications, God finally heard our prayers and gave us our little angel - Caerwyn Mikhail.
- A relatively easy and uncomplicated pregnancy
- A loving and supporting husband. Though he isn't physically present throughout the pregnancy, I can feel his concern and deep love for me and our baby.
- An over-eager and supportive family who longs for this baby as much as we have.
- An understanding boss who gave me lighter loads and allowed me to take off from time to time due to doctor's appointments, childbirth classes, and the like.
- Good health for the whole family. Earlier this year, I wrote about my dad having been diagnosed with Colon Cancer. With the help of early diagnosis, prevention and prayers, he was able to bounce back.
- A roof above our heads, and food for our stomachs.
- Great friends
- Wonderful teammates
- My roommate, best friend, and investment partner
- A truly productive year in terms of projects and career advancement
- Growing investments
- Answered prayers
- The opportunity to be with my husband this year
- The month-long chance to be with my family and my aunt whom I haven't seen for years
- An uneventful October business release
- Two great performance reviews
- Tenants that have been with us for a year now (hopefully renewing again)
- All 32 years of my life on earth
- Safety for me and my family
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Friday, October 28, 2005
The Name Game
Picking a name isn't a simple feat. Hubz and I have been through a number of baby names, debated over them, researched their meanings, searched for possible nicknames to go with it. It took us months before we finally came up with something we think would be perfect for our little angel - CAERWYN MIKHAIL (pronounced as Care-win Mi-kale). We'd call him Kail (pronounced as Kale) for short.
Like any other dads, hubz wanted our baby to carry his first name. I had to say no because his name is so well known to kids as a Big Red Dog. I didn't want our little boy to be teased (worse, bullied) in school because of that name. So we searched for a meaningful name that will carry both our initials. Caerwyn is gaelic which meant "blessed fort". Mikhail is the russian counterpart of Michael which meant "who is like God".
If we could only get our families to pronounce the name well, I think we'd all be happy campers... :) In the meantime, we have yet to search for a girl's name - just in case. Any suggestions?
Picking a name isn't a simple feat. Hubz and I have been through a number of baby names, debated over them, researched their meanings, searched for possible nicknames to go with it. It took us months before we finally came up with something we think would be perfect for our little angel - CAERWYN MIKHAIL (pronounced as Care-win Mi-kale). We'd call him Kail (pronounced as Kale) for short.
Like any other dads, hubz wanted our baby to carry his first name. I had to say no because his name is so well known to kids as a Big Red Dog. I didn't want our little boy to be teased (worse, bullied) in school because of that name. So we searched for a meaningful name that will carry both our initials. Caerwyn is gaelic which meant "blessed fort". Mikhail is the russian counterpart of Michael which meant "who is like God".
If we could only get our families to pronounce the name well, I think we'd all be happy campers... :) In the meantime, we have yet to search for a girl's name - just in case. Any suggestions?
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
The Last Stretch
I'm on my last trimester and a few more weeks, I'll be able to see, hold, and hug our baby - I can hardly wait!
I have had a relatively easy pregnancy (thank God!). In fact, I've had much more trouble getting pregnant (due to infertility issues) than staying pregnant! Though I have had some barfing episodes in the past, those were tolerable enough and it happens usually at night after dinner. Besides, they were few and far between that I don't really consider it a bad case of morning sickness. I've seen worse and I can only be thankful mine was very mild.
I had my glucose screening test and though I failed the 1-hour test, I aced the 3-hour one. All 4 blood tests for the 3-hour screening came back normal so the doctor was really surprised I failed the 1-hour test at all. I blame it on a bad fast. I was supposed to fast for 12 hours before going in for the test. By 10pm the previous night, I was still feasting on egg pie, and then I went in for my test at 8am. They drew my blood at exactly 9am (an hour after they gave me a very sweet juice to drink). God is really good because I've been praying so hard to pass my second test, which thankfully, I did. I was more worried of the risks to the baby associated with gestational diabetes than I am with dieting. And then, there are holidays coming up which would definitely make it difficult for me to control eating... :)
Now my only complaint is numbness on my wrist and fingers. My doctor calls it carpal tunnel. A wrist splint helps but it doesn't make the pain go away. She said if I really want to get rid of it, I need to see a specialist who will inject steroids. The sound of it just freaked me out so I told her I'd rather not - for my baby's sake.
I'm on my last trimester and a few more weeks, I'll be able to see, hold, and hug our baby - I can hardly wait!
I have had a relatively easy pregnancy (thank God!). In fact, I've had much more trouble getting pregnant (due to infertility issues) than staying pregnant! Though I have had some barfing episodes in the past, those were tolerable enough and it happens usually at night after dinner. Besides, they were few and far between that I don't really consider it a bad case of morning sickness. I've seen worse and I can only be thankful mine was very mild.
I had my glucose screening test and though I failed the 1-hour test, I aced the 3-hour one. All 4 blood tests for the 3-hour screening came back normal so the doctor was really surprised I failed the 1-hour test at all. I blame it on a bad fast. I was supposed to fast for 12 hours before going in for the test. By 10pm the previous night, I was still feasting on egg pie, and then I went in for my test at 8am. They drew my blood at exactly 9am (an hour after they gave me a very sweet juice to drink). God is really good because I've been praying so hard to pass my second test, which thankfully, I did. I was more worried of the risks to the baby associated with gestational diabetes than I am with dieting. And then, there are holidays coming up which would definitely make it difficult for me to control eating... :)
Now my only complaint is numbness on my wrist and fingers. My doctor calls it carpal tunnel. A wrist splint helps but it doesn't make the pain go away. She said if I really want to get rid of it, I need to see a specialist who will inject steroids. The sound of it just freaked me out so I told her I'd rather not - for my baby's sake.
Monday, October 10, 2005
The Nursery
Our baby's crib (together with a matching drawer) were delivered on Sunday. Of course, mommy was so excited (and exhausted too). Together with my roommate, we have re-organized our then computer room and turned it into a nursery. Since I still have three more months of gestation to go, there will probably be changes here and there but at least you get the idea.
The little dollhouse at the corner is actually mine. As a kid, I never had beautiful toys like these so when a neighbor sold this slightly used dollhouse because he was moving the entire family to Thailand, I just had to grab it. I've always wanted one for myself so this is my way of satisfying my inner child.
Our baby's crib (together with a matching drawer) were delivered on Sunday. Of course, mommy was so excited (and exhausted too). Together with my roommate, we have re-organized our then computer room and turned it into a nursery. Since I still have three more months of gestation to go, there will probably be changes here and there but at least you get the idea.
The little dollhouse at the corner is actually mine. As a kid, I never had beautiful toys like these so when a neighbor sold this slightly used dollhouse because he was moving the entire family to Thailand, I just had to grab it. I've always wanted one for myself so this is my way of satisfying my inner child.
Sunday, October 9, 2005
What a weekend!!!!
Where did the weekend go? Yesterday, a friend assembled our garden shed and we were able to move our garden stuff in there. It cleared out part of the garage. Then, we moved the unused computer out of the then computer room (now a nursery). I was going to send it to my brother in the Philippines. Hubz told me that they could have it upgraded so it can be used again.
Today, the crib, drawer, and playpen were finally delivered. They were also assembled, except for the playpen. The photos above is how the nursery looks like once the furnitures were in. There might be a few changes here and there from now 'til I give birth but at least, you get the idea.... :)
Next, we visited our close friend ex-neighbors who moved to their new house (a mile or so from where we live). Having undergone ligation after her now 2 year old baby, she is ready to dispose of some of her baby's stuff. Our little boy is now a proud recipient of some hand-me-downs - a bopper pillow, some beddings, bath tub, infant gate. I don't mind hand-me-downs since the baby won't be using it for a long time anyway. At least I can allot the finances intended for that on something else more worthwhile.
Tuesday, October 4, 2005
Baby Things Shopping Spree
I went to a knitting specialty store in Downtown Napa on Sunday to buy the required needle size for my knitting class on Oct. 15. For some reason, I couldn't find that size in either Michael's or Joann's so I had to go to a specialty store. Unfortunately, they're closed on Sundays and Mondays. But, guess what's open? Cribs 'N Bibs - it's a baby stuff specialty store. They carry items you would never find in Toys 'R Us or Babies 'R Us.
I gawked at this beautiful crib and matching drawers/changing station made of pure wood - tea stain color. It's convertible to a toddler bed too. What's more, they're on sale for 15% off. The manager told me that those were their last pair. If I don't buy those soon and they get sold, they'd have to special order them for me - which will be at a regular price. I tried to veer away from them but I keep going back so I figured, I'd buy a crib sooner or later anyway so why not make it sooner? In short, I bought the set which will be delivered and assembled on Sunday. So now we're on the race to organize the nursery (which is currently the computer room).
Next, I was looking at the colors I want for strollers when I saw this versatile playpen. It has a bassinet with cover that you can take off (when you want to bring the baby to a picnic). Then there's a changing station on the side with slots for wet wipes and diapers. There's a 10% discount off of that. To make the story short, I ended up buying that piece too. The playpen will stay in the family room so that when I'm downstairs scrapping or watching TV, the baby can stay in the bassinet. My worry was that if I lay him down the couch, he'd fall down when he's big enough to roll over. The playpen would be perfect too because as he gets older, he could stay there and play with his toys.
I emailed hubz about these purchases and he replied back commenting on how lucky this baby is. I must agree. He's got the top of the line gadgets and baby stuff right at his fingertips (of course, that would still depend on whether we'll give in to buying those for him). While I grew up with good old fashioned duyan made of abaca which is prone to tilting, he'd have a beautiful crib fit for a king (at least I thought so). I was even teasing hubz that this crib is the same price as my bed!
My roommate told me not to buy any more stuff because they're planning on giving me a baby shower anyway. I've been to dozens of baby showers in the past and a crib, drawers with changing station, playpen are not the sort of gifts you give to a baby shower, so maybe, they were wise purchases after all, or is it just the shopaholic in me justifying my spending?
Sigh, all the things you'd do for your child.
I went to a knitting specialty store in Downtown Napa on Sunday to buy the required needle size for my knitting class on Oct. 15. For some reason, I couldn't find that size in either Michael's or Joann's so I had to go to a specialty store. Unfortunately, they're closed on Sundays and Mondays. But, guess what's open? Cribs 'N Bibs - it's a baby stuff specialty store. They carry items you would never find in Toys 'R Us or Babies 'R Us.
I gawked at this beautiful crib and matching drawers/changing station made of pure wood - tea stain color. It's convertible to a toddler bed too. What's more, they're on sale for 15% off. The manager told me that those were their last pair. If I don't buy those soon and they get sold, they'd have to special order them for me - which will be at a regular price. I tried to veer away from them but I keep going back so I figured, I'd buy a crib sooner or later anyway so why not make it sooner? In short, I bought the set which will be delivered and assembled on Sunday. So now we're on the race to organize the nursery (which is currently the computer room).
Next, I was looking at the colors I want for strollers when I saw this versatile playpen. It has a bassinet with cover that you can take off (when you want to bring the baby to a picnic). Then there's a changing station on the side with slots for wet wipes and diapers. There's a 10% discount off of that. To make the story short, I ended up buying that piece too. The playpen will stay in the family room so that when I'm downstairs scrapping or watching TV, the baby can stay in the bassinet. My worry was that if I lay him down the couch, he'd fall down when he's big enough to roll over. The playpen would be perfect too because as he gets older, he could stay there and play with his toys.
I emailed hubz about these purchases and he replied back commenting on how lucky this baby is. I must agree. He's got the top of the line gadgets and baby stuff right at his fingertips (of course, that would still depend on whether we'll give in to buying those for him). While I grew up with good old fashioned duyan made of abaca which is prone to tilting, he'd have a beautiful crib fit for a king (at least I thought so). I was even teasing hubz that this crib is the same price as my bed!
My roommate told me not to buy any more stuff because they're planning on giving me a baby shower anyway. I've been to dozens of baby showers in the past and a crib, drawers with changing station, playpen are not the sort of gifts you give to a baby shower, so maybe, they were wise purchases after all, or is it just the shopaholic in me justifying my spending?
Sigh, all the things you'd do for your child.
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